back of a spreadsheet; back of the net

I believe the idea is that you pick a number in the comments and I write about the book that fits the description.

1. A book that haunts you

2. A book that was an interesting failure

3. A book where you really wanted to be reading the "shadow" version of the book (as in, there are traces of a different book in the work and you would have much preferred to read that one)

4. A book with a worldbuilding detail that has stuck with you

5. A book where you loved the premise but the execution left you cold

6. A book where you were dubious about the premise but loved the work

7. The most imaginative book you've seen lately

8. A book that feels like it was written just for you

9. A book that reminds you of someone

10. A book that belongs to a specific time in your mind, caught in amber

11. A book that came to you at exactly the right time

12. A book that came to you at the wrong time

13. A book with a premise you'd never seen before quite like that

14. A book balanced on a knife edge

15. A snuffed candle of a book

16. The one you'd take with you while you were being ferried on dark underground rivers

17. The one that taught you something about yourself

18. A book that went after its premise like an explosion

19. A book that started a pilgrimage

20. A frigid ice bath of a book

21. A book written into your psyche

22. A warm blanket of a book

23. A book that made you bleed

24. A book that asked a question you've never had an answer to

25. A book that answered a question you never asked

26. A book you recommend but cannot love

27. A book you love but cannot recommend

28. A book you adore that people are surprised by

29. A book that led you home

30. A book you detest that people are surprised by

Some random set of questions - the answers to which should be taken with a pinch of salt, or indeed mustard.


1. Do you mustard?
I think what two or more consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is a personal matter but, yes, I have done but not as much since the Captain was borne.

2. Choice of carbonated beverage?
I think it's polite to offer people a choice yes.

3. Do you own a gun?
I don't, but I do have part shares in a fleet of nuclear submarines.

4. Whiskey, tequila, or vodka?
None of those would make my top five drinks. Or even my top ten. Except at Lithmas when I do have some Lithuanian or Polish vodka with my fish.

5. Hot dogs or Cheeseburgers?
You can't call them hot dogs any more. They are dogs of an above ambient temperature.

But cheeseburgers.

6. Favourite type Of food?
Plentiful and properly cooked.

It really depends on what sort of mood I'm in what sort of style of cuisine I prefer - it that's the question.

7. Do you believe in ghosts?
I do not.

8. What do you drink in the morning?
Vodka and bitter regret. No, sorry, that's Marlon Brando. I drink gin and Claudia Schiffer's pussy juice.

9. Can you do 100 Push ups in a row?
Over what time period? How much am I being paid an hour?

10. Summer, Winter, Spring, Or Autumn?
Yes, unless Greta Thunberg is right in which case we probably get double summer but never Christmas.

11. Favourite hobby?
Is campaigning for democracy a hobby? That's what I seem to spend most of my spare time doing.

12. Tattoos?
The Edinburgh one is popular although I've never been.

13. Do you wear glasses?
Only for sex.

14. Fears?
Cowardice.

15. Nickname?
Satan.

Or Coco Monkey for sexual purposes.

16. Three drinks?
Bourbon Banana Flip.

A nice IPA that's not overly hopped, not like those IPA which *are* overly hopped which I don't like.

Claudia Schiffer's pussy juice.

17. Biggest downfall?
Berlin, 1945.

18. Rain or Snow?
Weather isn't a democracy and I live in Scotland, it's not like I get any choice.

19. Piercings?
One in each hand and one right through both feet.

20. Age?
Time isn't a democracy either.

21. Are you moody?
Yes! WHAT ABOUT IT?!?

22. Favourite vehicle ?
I'm quite patial to a ROU (Demilitarised) myself. Limiting Factor would be my top pick.

23. Kids?
Procreation isn't a democracy.

I have two. I tell both of them I have 5 in order to keep them guessing which one is inheriting the earldom and the castle.

24. Favourite colour?
Yellow

25. Employed?
A bit like Wimbledon Common, under, over, freely.

26. Can you whistle?
You just put your lips together and blow. At least that's what Claudia Schiffer tells me.

27. Where were you born?
I'm not entirely sure, roughly Bethlehem.

28. Favourite movies?
The Duelists, Love Actually for the line about Ant or Dec,

29. Ever Been Arrested?
The DA couldn't prove a thing.

30. Surgeries?

Only by appointment.

31. Religious?
Not in the least. Quite the contrary.

32. Shower or Bath?
I like Bath but there isn't as much to do their with the kids as you might think.

33. Like gambling?

A game of chance, usually played for money.

34. Are you reliable?
My whole life is have too.

35. Broken bones?
None currently, later depends on how much gin Claudia and I drink.

36. How many tv’s in your house?
See question 1.

37. Worst pain ever?
The bitter regret when I ran out of vodka.

38. Do you like to dance?
I dance like I've never been hurt before and love like nobody is watching.

Generally, somebody is watching.

39. Are your parents still alive?
To be honest I'm not entirely sure that my parents aren't both some procedurally derived dumb AI set to vex my siblings and me in mild rebuke by the stern but loving AI that secretly runs the planet.

40. Do you like camping ?
See question 1.

1. Have you ever driven an electric car?

Sort of - I have been the "driver" of an electric autonomous car in a hardware in the loop simulated environment. That was cool,

2. Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes?

No, we get haar, but I was born in Birmingham which gets perhaps the most tornados of any city in the world.

3. How many closets does your house have?

We have 3 presses, a utility room, a "shed" and two large wardrobes.

4. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?

A few weeks ago, my oldest friend happened to be in Edinburgh so we went for a coffee.

5. Have you ever eaten moussaka?

I have. I like moussaka.

6. What breed was the last dog you saw?

It looked like some sort of brown labrador - it was taking an interest in some other dogs and a tennis ball.

7. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are)?

I think they were married for 15 years.

8. What has been your most epic cooking failure?

An attempt to make some sort of fritter / scotch egg effort out of cous cous when I was a uni. It tasted okay but structurally it was a complete failure.

9. Do you read other people's survey answers on here?

I read survey memes.

10. What's your bedtime routine?

I don't really have a bedtime routine.

11. Do you agree with the saying 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'?

Not really - my observation is that long distance relationships are difficult and can be brittle.

12. Have you ever been to Mexico?

I have not been to Mexico - I consider this to be a small career win.

13. Do you have a bad temper?

No - I am affability personified. People are often surprised when I get cross.

14. When was the last time it stormed where you live?

We had some heavy rain and strong winds a few weeks ago - an of course the snow.

15. Do you ever fact-check the things you read on the internet?

Yes - often.

16. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?

From the house about minutes, from the office about 8 minutes.

17. What five words best describe your mother's personality?

Driven, loving, expansive, brittle, curious.

18. Do you know any transgender people?

To my knowledge I know one, but not very well.

19. What's your dream job?

Dictator of the World, faililng that an economist or someone who works in wood..

20. How old were you when you got your first smartphone?

32 I think.

21. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?

No - and I never ever want to.

22. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first?

Breakfast first.

23. What's something you had to learn the hard way?

How to study effectively.

24. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room?

Large, thermally lined gold curtains.

25.Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?

Yes. In the past - I don't let them near me anymore.

26. What's the weather like right now?

Warm, bright but a little over cast and humid.

27. How long has it been since your last breakup?

19 years.

28. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting?

I prefer not to have it on whilst I'm doing anything that requires concentration.

29. What's the name of the amusement park closest to your house?

I've no idea - it might be Alton Towers..

30. Do you like The Rolling Stones?

No, I dislike them very much.

31. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on?

A jacket I think or perhaps a birthday present for my wife.

32. What's something you've been struggling with lately?

Finding beads that are stackable and cheap.

33. What was the last caffeinated drink you had?

I had a cup of weak tea - that is my current warm offfice drink of choice since I gave up drinking coffee at work.

I'm going to answer this questions about the first time I started using things rather than how old I was when they started, because they started at the same time for everyone - unless you are part of the global poor in which case they didn't start then, they started later.


• Did you have a cell phone prior to your thirties?

I had a mobile phone in my mid-twenties. I know this because my current mobile phone number (which is my second) includes my age when I got it. I used to have one of those Nokia phones that was indestructable. Now I have a smart phone.

• Did they exist?

They did. One of my girlfriend's at university had one for work. The first person I remember having a personal mobile phone was a friend of mine on my MSc course who had some personal security concerns so had one.

• Did you have cable when you were a little kid?

I barely had a television when I was a kid. My mum would often decide that not watching television was good for us as kids so I spent many years without a television. In fact I once got in trouble at school for not being able to complete a maths assisgnment to do with charting television watching in my household.

• Do you know what 8-track tapes are?

I know the are a thing. I'm not sure I could tell you what they do except that they seem to be important to the Beatles and therefore a very important cornerstone of Western civilisation, along with Coca Cola and the Morecome and Wise Christmas Special 1977.

• How about cassette tapes?

I know what these are.

• When did you get your first DVD player?

The first DVD player that I owned was about 12 years ago when I was 30. It could record DVD's and had a hard drive too. It was a very nice machine.

• Did you learn to type on a typewriter?

I did. In fact I have the Australian equivalent of a Standard Grade in Secretarial Studies and, when my eye is in, I can touch type at 100 words a minute. On a typewriter. By co-incidence I was thinking about typing last night. There is a slight strain of dyslexia like symptoms in my family. I get b and d mixed up when I write, but not when I type.

• What was the first computer you owned?

We had a family Commodore 128 when I was a lad and the first computer I owned was a generic desktop that I bought when I was at university in 1998.

• What age were you when you first got e-mail?

I can't remember. Probably during one of my summer jobs at uni. That was in the day when not everyone in an organisation would have email. Maybe not until I started work.

• Was the Internet around when you were a kid?

I think the internet was around but the World Wide Web had yet to take off. I didn't use it much at university and not lots and lots until I got a smart phone. All the world's facts in your pocket, along with all the world's nutters shouting that the facts are wrong.

• What age were you when Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, and Dreamwidth started?

I started using Dreamwidth about a year ago when LJ when all anti-gay for the pay. LJ, I'd been on for at least five years, maybe ten. Facebook and Twitter about the same. I've stopped using Twitter mostly now.

• What was the first printer you owned like?

No idea - it came with the Commodore 128.

• Collegiate papers: typewriter or computer?

We had to hand them in typewitten, the university authorities did not care how this was done.

• How old were you when streaming came into being?

I started using streaming when we got a smart TV about 4 years ago. I now mostly watch programmes on catch up.

• What age were you when you got your first MP3 player?

I have never owned an MP3 player.

• Did you own a record player, cassette player, CD player, or MP3 player as a teen?

We had a music centre in our family room that had a record player and a double tape deck. I had a CD player at uni when I was still 19 I think.

• At what age did you start blogging on the Internet?

About 2011 I think. I had a blog for a while and then moved to LJ.

• What age were you when the e-readers came out?

I've had a Kindle for about ten years I think. My first was a present from MLW. I'm now on my second after I lost my first one. I have a touch screeen one now. Which I like except for the way the forward and back functions work.

• How do you listen to music?

Rarely. I tend not to have it on in the background. My usual pattern when listening to music is to find a song I like and see how many cover versions I can find of it on Spotify and then see which bands I like from that.

1. Where did you go the last time you took an airplane ride?

I think the last flight I was on was to London City to go to a UD board meeting. There was a comic convention at the large convention centre that is on the Docklands Light Railway so the platforms and trains were full of kids in various costumes.

2. Are you a nervous flyer or a comfortable flyer?

I like flying. I fly lots. I used to fly monthly up and down to Bristol. I have perfected the art of a 45 minute power nap.

3. Window seat or aisle seat?

I prefer an aisle seat if I'm flying short-haul. I prefer the slightly more open feel and being able to disembark more quickly.

4. What is the worst experience you've had flying?

On an over night flight from Singapore to London. We'd been at a water park in Singapore during the day and I'd got some water in my ear. Taking off was really, really painful but the descent was agony and I sort of freaked out a bit and I may have knocked a glass of water out of the hands of a flight attendant as she passed it over me to MLW. I'm not sure I was in a lot of pain and panicking a bit. The worst bit was knowing that I had a fligth from London to Edinburgh almost immediately after.

5. What is the best experience you've had flying?

When my siblings and I flew from Australia to Scotland via Singapore. One the first leg we all got to go in the cockpit. One of mum's colleague's husband was an air traffic controller so he fixed it for us to go up front. I got to see several smoking volcanos from the cockpit. And on the second leg, landing in London, we got bumped up to First Class for the landing.

-- 

There are too few of these things. Here is one.

1. Do you like blue cheese?

I do. I like cheese very much generally. I like blue cheese a lot. Particularly sweeter blue cheese. I am very fond of the quote from Lenny Henry's Chef "Blue cheese; the perfect combination of bug and cow."

2. Have you ever smoked?

I have never had the habit of smoking tobacco. For a little while when acting in a play I tried out a pipe. I have smoked the occassional cigar but usually only so I could share one with a couple of attractive girls I know who like them. I don't think I've ever smoked a cigarette.

3. Do you own a gun?

I do not own a gun. Nor do I think it likely that I ever will. My step-dad owned one or two rifles.  I quite enjoy target shooting and clay pigeon shooting and I'm not bad at it. I think it strange that a meme should ask if I've owned a gun. It is a rare thing in my culture. It's like asking if I've ever owned a donkey.

4. What is your favourite flavour?

I joke with My Lovely Wife that every thing tastes better with cardomon. I like the taste of slow cooked lamb, or peppermint, or beer. I like sweet things. But my favourite taste is the taste of a passionate kiss.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor visits?

No and I try to put the medical team at their ease.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

That I regret not having a traditional hot dog when I was in New York but that was probably a good idea on health and safety grounds. I prefer a sausage in a bun to frankfurter in a hot dog bun. The idea of a hot dog is surely greater than the actuality of a hot dog whereas a sausage in a bun is surely the greatest of humanities achievements.

7. Favourite Christmas movie?

It's A Wonderful Life or Die Hard.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Rum but I make do with coffee. No, but seriously, I prefer tea in the morning along with a pint of sparkling water.


9. Do you do push-ups?

Yes, I do, at the gym. I can't say I care for them overly much, or they for me.

10. What’s your favourite piece of jewelry?

My favourite piece of jewelry that I own and wear is a pair of cufflinks that my wife bought me as a wedding present. My second favourite are some cufflinks that my daughter bought me as a birthday present. I'm not much of a jewelry person other than cufflinks.

11. Favourite hobby?

Improvised comedy.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?

No.

13. What’s the one thing you hate about yourself?

Oh, if only there were one thing.

14. Middle name?

I think it essential to have one. Mine is a closely guarded state secret and I go by the initial of D.

15. Name three thoughts right now?

Interest Rates.

How odd the financial reporting at work is and what is it that I'm not seeing that makes it make

Leadership from a distance.

16. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.

Beer.
Coffee
Fizzy Water

I'd like to say rum, whisky and daquiris but we are not Hemmingway. We love adjectives too much.

17. Where's the question?

If this is a question, when was the answer?

18. Current hate right now?

I am trying not to hate anyone at the moment. It is difficult because I think many people are reveling in three things that I despise:willful ignorance, destruction and shifting the blame and they are doing all three at the same time and doing it for selfish reasons. But they won't be persuaded by my anger, wrath will not turn aside wrath, so I must do the work of trying to understand the emotions that lead them to be lazy and violent and irresponsible without losing sight of the fact that that is actually how they are behaving.

19. Favourite place to be?

I really like living in Edinburgh - I think my favourite place to be is the Meadows, in the early morning, on my way to an adventure of any duration, that will end with me returning home.

20. How do you ring in the New Year?

Usually with a bottle of champagne and a flask of whisky, standing on the Meadows watching the fireworks over Edinburgh Castle.

21. Where would you like to go?

I'd like to visit San Deigo. Not that I partiucularly wish to visit San Deigo but many things in my life would make more sense if I had been to San Deigo.

22. Name three people who will complete this?

I have no idea.

23. Do you own slippers?

I do but I don't wear them often.

24. What colour shirt are you wearing?

I am wearing a shirt that is multi-coloured. It has thin stripes of white with dark blue, light blue, deep red and mauve.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

I do not think I have ever slept on satin sheets. Are they easy to wash?

26. Can you whistle?

Yes, loudly. You just put your lips together and bellow.

27. Favourite colour?

Yellow.

28. Would you be a pirate?

No, I have no love for violent criminals who disrupt global trade.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers

30. Favourite girls name?

Other than the names of my daughter I like Charlotte and Sophia.

31. Favourite boys name?

Other than the name of my son I like Thomas and James.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?

A ten pound note.

33. Last person that made you laugh?

K who is the junior sales and marketing person at work.

34. Best toy as a child?

An X-wing.

35. Worst injury?

I once broke my thumb, but perhaps the worst injury was my right knee when I fell off a ladder six years ago. That slowed me down for years.

36. Where would you love to live?

If not Edinburgh then Barcelona, Orkney or the Far North of Australia.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?

Two televisions.

38. Who is your loudest friend?

An old friend from university who has gotten me through more difficult times than I had any right to expect of her and has a track record of saying the wrong thing very loudly.

39. How many dogs do you have?

I have no dogs. I do not think I will ever own a dog. I do not hate dogs but I do not love them either.

40. Does someone trust you?

Yes, but I can't tell you who.

41. What is your favourite movie?

The Duellests by Ridley Scott, staring Keith Caradine and Harvey Keitel and based on the Joseph Conrad novella.

42. What’s your favourite sweet?

Trebor Extra Strong Mints

43. What’s your favourite sports team?

The Scottish Rugby Team

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?

Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers? Something from my wedding and Sit Down by James.

My favourite Shakespeare play is Much Ado About Nothing (or Noting or Love's Labour Won).

It was the first Shakespeare play I was in. I played Leonato, governor of Messina and father of Hero, the wronged herione of the play. The production was staged in a courtyard garden at Aberdeen University. In early summer. I was 20. Given a run up I can probably still perform the opening scene.

A memorable event in the production was the actor playing the Friar forgetting a line. These things happen - but as the line he forgot was his speech at the aborted wedding of Claudio and Hero halfway through the play where he recaps the plot of the first half and lays out the plot of the second half it was quite some line to forget. I launched in to perhaps the greatest piece of improvised dialogue I have produced starting with "What I think the Father is saying to us is..." and summarised the Friar's speech and my own interuptions to is.

Straightaway after to the University library to borrow the largest bible we could lay our hands on and stick a copy of the text to the middle page.

A few years before Kenneth Branagh had released his film version. I love the sunshine of it. And Emma Thomson.

I like the play because I was in it and I have a fondness for things that I've done. It's funny. I also like it because it is a funny but quite serious critique of double standards of sexual morality set on a sunny day in Italy.

So I have L from alitheapipkin

Something I hate: Lychees. My mum once saved the life of a man who owned a lychee plantation. He gifted her department a shipping container of lychees. We were eating lychees for months. There is a limit to how many lychees one can eat and I know to the gram where my limit is and how far beyond it I've gone
Something I love: Law, I love jurisprudence, I love the mental discpline of legal thinking but mostly I love the concept of living in a lawful, law abiding polity under the law.
Somewhere I've been: London. I have mixed feelings about London. I enjoy visiting but one of shadow life goals is that I never, ever, ever want to live in London.
Somewhere I'd like to go: Low Earth Orbit - it would be fun to be an astronaut, if only sort of.
Someone I know: My daughter who is a great comfort to me in my old age and a fine person.
A film I like: Love Actually.

If anyone else would like a letter, leave a comment!

1. Marmite—love or hate?
I do not think I have knowingly consumed marmite. I did not much care for vegemite. I do like gentlemen's relish. Ah, the salty goodness of anchovies on toast.
2. Marmalade—thick cut or thin cut?
Thin cut. Thin cut for the love of Dawkins. Have we lived and fought in vain?
3. Porridge—made with milk or water?
I make mine with milk. In the microwave because I live in the 21st Century and not some chocolate box version of a foreign country mis-named Scotland where you have to get up before you were born to make porridge over an open fire with a spurtle.
4. Do you like salt, sugar or honey on your porridge?
My prefered topping for porridge is maple syrup - because a) I live in a globalised economy with ready access to cheap products and produce from around the world and b) I like maple syrup on my porridge. The Captain does not. He likes it plain. He's weird.
5. Loose tea or teabags?
Teabags.
6. Where on your door is your letterbox?
It sort of spans the space between inside and outside. To be frank, I'm thinking of getting rid of it.
7. What's your favourite curry?
Usually either a lamb rogan josh or a lamb green herb, although there is a very good Indian restaurant in Birmingham where they do a rather fine lamb shank.
8. What age is the place where you live?
Built in the 1870's according to the title deeds, making it about 140 years old. Strangely, we are only the third family to live in it, which is nice.
9. Where do the folks running your local corner shop come from?
They are mostly university students, so from all over.
10. Instant or fresh coffee?
I prefer fresh but I have to be careful not to have too much caffeine, like I have today. WhoooHOOO.
11. How far are you from the sea?
Some four miles.
12. Have you travelled via Eurostar?
I have not.
13. If you were going to travel abroad, where's the nearest country to you?
England. I do not recognise the unilateral declaration of independence made by the so called Kingdom of Fife.
14. If you're female (or possible even some males) do you carry a handbag?
I often carry a handbag - I'm helpful that way, if my wife needs me to carry her handbag I will.
15. Do you have a garden? What do you like growing?
I have a small garden that is stuffed full of shrubs. I am working on it's 3rd and 4th dimensions. It needs more flowers.
16. Full cream, semi skimmed or skimmed?
I prefer full cream. My wife prefers skimmed. We compromised on skimmed until the Captain was born, when MLW discovered he needed the cream for the vitamins and now we have full cream.
17. Which London terminal would you travel into if going to the capital?
Depends a lot where I was coming from and which capital I was going to.
18. Is there a local greasy spoon where you live?
Not particularly. I live in a posh bit of Edinburgh. Even the greasy spoons use olive oil.
19. Do you keep Euros in the house?
I currently have Euros, US dollars, Australian dollars in the house.

I also have about 100 billion Euros worth of New Greek Drachma which I unwisely offered to look after for my friend Yanis in case he needed them. They take up a lot of room.

20. Does your home town have a Latin, Gaelic or Welsh alternative.
No, there is no where like Aberdeen.
21. Do you have a well known local artist or author?
How local do you want? I think there are two just round the corner.
22. Do you have a favourite Corrie character?
I like Andrea Corr.
23. Are your kitchen sink taps separate or a mixer?
My kitchen sink taps are a mixer - another product of the 21st century I am happy to adopt.
24. Do you have a favourite brand of blended tea?
Not particularly.
25. What's in your attic if you have one?
I have a sort of loft. The pluarality of the volume is taken up by Christmas decorations and the water tank (which I want to get rid of).
26. If you go out for a cream tea, what jam do you like on your scone?
Depends on my mood and what jam is on offer.
27. Talking of scones—scon or scown? Jam or cream first?
scooone.
28. Barth or bath?
The large container for cleaning small boys or the small Roman city?
29. Carstle or castle?
Castle
30. What flavour of crisps do you favour?
Thai sweet chilli
31. If you go to the chippie, what do you like with your chips?
Fish.
32. Take away, take out or carry out?
Take away.
33. If you have one, what colour is your wheelie bin?
I do not have a wheelie bin.
34. What colour skips does your local skip hire use?
I neither know nor care.
35. Do you celebrate Guy Fawkes?
I'm not a big fan of catholisism, terrorism, tyranny, state sponsored torture, absolute monarcy, the death penalty, ultra-montainism or treason. So it's difficult to pick a side here. Also, Edinburgh saves its fireworks for Hogmaney and the Festival.
36. Dettol or TCP?
I don't mind, just so long as you don't put coke in it.
37. Do you have a bidet in the bathroom?
No one lives in my bathroom.
38. Do you prefer courgettes or aubergines?
That really depends on what I'm using them for...
39. In the 'real world', do you have friends of other nationalities? Which nationalities?
From memory, English, Australian, USian, Irish, Londoner, German, New Zealander
40. Do you have a holy book of any sort in the house?
In terms of foundational texts of world religions I'm pretty sure there is a Christian bible somewhere and I may still have the Book of Mormon. There may be others. Or none.
41. Do you prefer a hankie or tissues?
Wet wipes.
42. Are you a fan of crumpets? What do you like on them?
I prefer totty to crumpets.
43. Doorbell, knocker or both?
I prefer knockers to doorbells. (Fuck me, I've turned in to Sid James).
44. Do you own a car? What sort?
I do not. If I did, it would be like I like my women, small, compact and battery powered.
45. What sort of pants do you guys prefer? Y fronts or boxers?
Technically I believe they are called trunks.
46. Anyone still a fan of suspenders?
Most enthusastically.
47. Do you have a favourite quote from the bard?
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.
48. Do you like toasted muffins?
Yes - often as part of a bacon and egg sandwich
49. Do you think a traditional trifle should contain jelly?
I do, but it should also contain plenty of custard and sherry.
50. Do you attend regular religious worship? Of what kind?
I do not. I am a lapsed, or perhaps resting, evangelical atheist.