On My Pub Name Top Ten

[danieldwilliam]

I would never actually want to own a pub. At least I’d never want to the be the owner / manager of a pub.  It strikes me as a job with long hours, which requires compulsory sociability and which isn’t particularly financially rewarding. Also, you don’t get to sit and enjoy the beer. I’m much more likely to set up a rum distillery in Grenada than a pub but in keeping with my general life philosophy, often discussed with MLW(1) and widgetfox (2) that all of life can be usefully considered in terms of a top ten list here are the top ten of names I would give my pub if I owned one.

1. The Fighting Thomas Cochraine (in honour of my favourite Georgian naval captain, radical politician and the larger than fiction model for Lucky Jack Aubrey)
2. The Monkey Puzzle
3. The Preferential Vote
4. The Righteously Bare Arms (this pub would feature a weekly burlesque evening)
5. The Gravitas Out
6. The Twenty-First Amendment (clearly an over 21 only venue)
7. The Spanker (if the pub were near a yachting club)
8. The Gastro-Pub at the End of the Street
9. The Truth in Comedy
10. The John Cartwright

(1) my list of top sandwiches (3) was included in MLW’s speech at our wedding.

(2) I actually have a top ten of widgetfoxes.

(3) pastrami, gherkin, tomato, with whole-grain mustard on a savoury bagel.

Comments

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

I could use your arms on the pub signage.

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

I'm a surprisingly good shot.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

How are you with a bear-firing trebuchet?

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Very afraid.

[hano.livejournal.com]

I have a mental picture of 10 widgetfox clones making life very difficult indeed for Dan...

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Miaow.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Flaming trebuchet launched bears don't go Miaow.

It's more of a GRRrrrphwoaRRR!

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Anything more than two would impossible.

Imagine if they took against each other.

[hano.livejournal.com]

easy, just send in ten Woskar clones. Peace and harmony would be restored in seconds.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

How did you discover this?

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Shooting clays with K. But actually I always thought I would be, because the thing I'm really surprisingly good at is darts.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

I have never played darts.

Did you play darts at college?

(I am reminded of my uni flat mate whose equivalent of a top ten was to think of ways to introduce the concept of removing clothing during a game, so strip backgammon, strip tiddlywinks and the infamous strip dice.

We stopped him, for his own good, trying strip darts.

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Strip clay pigeon shooting perhaps also unwise.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

I am genuinely not sure which would be less wise.

Strip darts involves darts and the risk that the dart will rebound from the dartboard. This risk I think falls into to the likely to happen category. I personally consider a stout pair of jeans or a good pair of shoes to be of some protection against a rebounding dart.

I think accidents playing strip clay pigeon shooting are less likely but more likely for the outcome not to be significantly affected by ordinary clothing or the lack of it.

How hot does a shotgun barrel get after a few rounds of clay?

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Actually, shoulder bruising from naked clay pigeon shooting might be an issue.