On the New Who

[danieldwilliam]

Rumours on the internet about the New Who abound but I can exclusively reveal that they are all as wrong as a bow-tie and fez.

Rather than replacing Matt Smith in Doctor Who a new spin-off series is planned for the Doctor.  The replacement for  Matt Smith will have his, or her, or their own spin-off series where an eccentric, wise and fundamentally good time traveller uses science, their skills and experience and the help of some assistants or companions to save various worlds from new and imaginative threats on a weekly basis. The name for this series is not decided yet. Options include Travels in Space with Science, A Plot, A Problem and a Professor, and Holes in the Space Time Continuity.

The part of the Doctor will be played by a blacked-up Helen Mirren. This is a fantastic step forward for both feminism and a multi-cultural Britain reflecting a nation at ease with itself. In a welcome return to the franchise Freema Agyeman will reprise her role as Martha Jones, the talented, brave, intellegent medical doctor and scientific advisor to UNIT. The lesbian sexual tension between Mirren and Agyeman’s characters will provide something to keep the dads (and a few mums!!!!) watching. Nigel Farage will play himself as a new companion to the time travelling adventurer. Farage’s character is believed to be called Nigel. Dowing Street was rocked by the news and a stunned David Cameron was said to have realised his political agenda would be in tatters if the Doctor and Dr Jones had ever will have been going to have will be snogged.

Villians planned for the new spin-off include Dinosaurs from Mars, Robots from Mars, Aliens from Mars, Spiders from Mars, a self aware Snickers bar, Austerity, a general feeling that things are not as good as they used to be, the EU and the institution of marriage.

The main series, Doctor Who will continue with Stephen Moffat and the existing star telling the long running tale of a glowing magic wand opening up Daleks, Cybermen and Sontarons like a tin opener. The hand holding the much loved Sonic Screwdriver will be played by a blurry Joey Tribbiani.

There are no plans to take forward a second spin-off series where Alan Rickman plays the Name of the Doctor.


There are no spoilers - and even if there were they'd be written out or forgotten next series.

Comments

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

I think you're getting confused. 'Marathon' is what they were called before Michael Grade cancelled the show. In Russell T. Davies's and Steven Moffat's brave new Who, they changed to 'Snickers', in an attempt to be down wiv the kids (who lack a classical education) and appeal to the American market. The special effects on the peanuts are much more realistic now, although I preferred it when the Doctor took four episodes to devise a fiendishly clever solution to foil the Marathons' plans. (Like for example in the classic story "Meltdown", when the Doctor melts the Marathon invasion force by turning the thermostats up on their starships.) Nowadays, he just waves his flipping sonic screwdriver at them and they become Bounties.

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

This is the sort of wooly thinking which let to the Starburst Proclamation in the first place.
(And I love the icon)

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Thanks. More icons where that one came from...

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

I like to compare and contrast that one with this one.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

More pertinent to this post though, this userpic...

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

...or even this one.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Bloody Bounties.

If there's one more story with Bounties in I swear I'm going to tweet @ Moffat and resign from the fan club.