On Doctor Who and The Rings of A Rush Job (Woah, woah, the Rings of A Rush Job.)

[danieldwilliam]

I really didn’t much care for last Saturday’s episode of Doctor Who, The Rings of Somewhere Or Other.

I didn’t much understand what was going on and by the time I did I realised I didn’t care.

I think the root cause of the problem with this episode and I think with much of recent Doctor Who, is that too much story was compressed into too few minutes.

We get about 15 minutes of why the Leaf is important.  15 minutes of meeting the little girl, Merry or Mary or Merv or whatever. I didn’t have long enough to work out how to pronounce her name. Then 15 minutes of the Doctor break dancing in front of the Giant Pumpkin.   Mixed in with this is a bit of wandering about (or wondering aloud), a bit where the owner of the most useful space and time ship in the Universe hires a space pedalo, a Coldplay concert and some bits of persuading Clara Osama Oswald the Wonderful Woman of Oz to come for a ride in the TARDIS. Then the Leaf is deployed and the Giant Pumpkin chokes on its own petard. And for the first time since we met Ozzy the bastards haven’t killed her. Stay awake at the back, this may be Significant. Or a Continuity Error.  Or Both.

I think it would have worked better as part of a series made up of 26 episodes divided into 6-8 stories of 3-4 episodes each.  The way it used to be done.

So how would I have handled this.

I’d have shifted this story further back into the current series.  I’ve only just met Orville and most of the times I’ve met her she’s ended up dead and been someone else (or was she?) So a story that turns on her emotional connection to an artefact of her past needs to build up that past. Then place the past firmly in the context of the present of someone I care about. Then succeed in making the artefact emblematic of something important. Admirable features of Clara are influenced by the loss of her mother at young age and the Leaf is a solid connection to her family and the lost promise of that family. It reminds her to nurture those less fortunate than herself. Then I’d care about a Leaf. Otherwise, it’s just a leaf.

By shifting this story further back in episode list I’d have had time to get to know Clarissa at my own pace instead of having her importance and the back story of the Leaf thrust in my face.  A few stories where she seems like a decent person with some particular interests.  A bit more time to let her fondness for work where she cares for small motherless children flow across the screen. But also, some more time for her not just to be an orphan who likes orphans except when she’s dead. Or when her being dead isn’t important enough to keep happening.

This is the most important Leaf in the Universe.  Is it? Show me don’t tell me and all that.  So perhaps a situation in a previous story where Miss Bow makes what appears to be an irrational decision to preserve the book and the Leaf from a fire or a Dalek. (About time we had a Dalek, not enough of them in my opinion.) A scene a few episode later where Beau Peep is uncharacteristically distracted whilst looking at the Leaf.  Generally, big up the leaf so it becomes the Leaf.

Then I’d start on the back story.  There would have been some space and time to show the history that makes the Leaf important. Probably some relatives. Not sure how I’d have woven this in but I’ve given myself plenty of room with perhaps 4 mini-story arcs and about 15 45-minute episodes to go at.  I’d find a way.  It would be Amazing!

So I arrive at episode 1 of the Rings of Mos Eisely with the audience already thinking “I like that Betty Boo lass. She does seem inordinately fond of that Leaf. Still I suppose her poor dead mum and all that.“  Bit of an extended opening shot of the Rings. They are Amazing. We’ve paid for the SFX team to go on the CGI course, might as well get the benefit and it’ll save having to pay Matt Smith to say “Wow, isn’t it Amazing!” if I show you how amazing it is.  He charges extra for that and quite rightly too. Then I can spend a good half an episode wondering around the market place (which was very enjoyable) with a red herring plot, a sub-plot or part of a longer story arc plot as a driver for being there. Perhaps the Silence or the Silents or Silus or whoever they were could be involved.   I could have shown the peaceful nature of the civilisation. Built up the social structures. Enjoyed a bit of the genuinely lovely singing. Introduced the quirks of paying for things with things of emotional value and left the audience to mull that over at their own pace. A little hint that all is not well in the Land of Oz. Then introduce the Merry Hobbit, sorry the little girl (just a little girl, not The Little Girl ™ , or indeed A Little Girl, don’t you know you can get them in six-packs now.)  Oh, I wonder why that little girl is so agitated in what appears to be such a peaceful yet vibrant civilisation. Add in a little bit of apprehension about the Elder God. End on a cliff hanger when the quite scary Black Guards corner Betty Page and Merv.

1. Episode 2 – the running about episode.  Clare and Jolly spend quite a bit of time running away from the Black Guards. A bit of rather nice singing. They seek refuge with some figure of authority, who being a figure of authority in a peaceful, vibrant culture much like our own but with more singing is certainly duty bound to take a keen interest in the suffering of a defenceless young person seeking sanctuary and someone to believe that she really is in danger.  Que Surprise and Dismay when said authority figure just hands her over to the Black Guards. Nice singing. Nice Singing. Doctor Cox and Claire Oiseau get to do some running about trying to find Marvin. Perhaps Smudger could use his sonic screwdriver to open a stubborn door or maybe not. He probably needs to save the battery so he can use it re-light ITER or repair the oxygen system on Apollo 13. There could be some singing behind the door. Acquire Space Pedalo, if you insist, and ride off through the Olympic Rings to the MacGuffin Asteroid to the Rescue (Gee, those CGI courses were really money well spent. ) End on a cliff hanger when the Doctor and What’s Her Name find their way to the centre of temple complex to find Mhari about to be force fed to an alarm clock.

Episode 3. Quick recap. We’re on an asteroid in Space full of aliens. It’s Amazing but because we can’t afford to pay Matt Smith to tell you we’ve used some CGI and rubber to show you. Here’s one we made earlier. Peter Purvis, I thank you.  Doctor Zhiviago, Clare Balding and Mike from Mike and Mechanics are in Deadly Peril ™ with at least one of them about to be fed to some soul eating Elder God that in no way resembles the Giant Pumpkin. A sound track by Harry Christophers and the Sixteen with additional music by Tenacious D fills our ears and souls. Those of us who still have souls that is.  Doctor Che Guevara gives a speech about how you shouldn’t eat little girls, even if you are Maurice Chevalier, it’s just not good enough, can’t you hear the signing (que Scotland giving it “Can you hear the Elder God of Darkness sing? No! NO! Can you hear the Elder God of Darkness Sing No! NO!” )  The Elder God of Darkness gets its tax affairs sorted out and basically swats Smith to the ground.  Smith changes into a fez but it’s no good. The Giant Pumpkin has him on the ropes and it looks bad for the Boy Wonder. He counters with a lot of memories that are somehow, don’t ask me how, turned into food or possibly Euros (no really, please don’t ask me how). It’s not enough. The Pumpkin just licks its lips. It’s going to eat everything.  Eliza steps right up to the plate and holds up the Leaf. She explains to the Dark Pumpkin that seeing as her mum only lived about as long as most people in recorded history lived and that’s a bit unfair could it go away now thanks. The Giant Pumpkin is Stunned, Staggered and Amazed. We realise, with a cheeky shuggle of the Bow Tie of Ironic Awesome that Herr Doctor Professor was just stalling for time whilst Thingamyjig found the right page in her book and produced the Leaf.  The Giant Pumpkin retires, wounded.  As it does so its features briefly resemble Withnail. Or Do They?

Dum de dum, dum de dum dewooooooo!

I’d have arrived at the end of that last episode feeling that a niggle that I’d been worried about for a few months – what’s going to happen with this Leaf you keep showing me -  has been resolved.  I’d have had time to learn how to pronounce Merry’s name and remember Clara’s.  Good, which I have seen try to be good, would have triumphed over Evil, which I had seen refuse to turn from the Dark Side. Moral Ambiguity would have been seen from both sides too and people would have made choices.
Instead I got to follow Matt Smith at jogging pace whilst he shouted “Look. Leaf. Mother. Look There. Amazing. Leaf. Over There!” at me.
Perhaps the Giant Pumpkin is a metaphor for a script team too greedy to digest their stories properly.

Comments

[alitheapipkin.livejournal.com]

I like your version better too :D

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I found myself lying in bed that evening thinking how I’d have expanded each section of the story if I’d had 135 minutes to play with and the luxury of stealing a bit of additional time from prior episodes.

[andrewducker]

I just watched it. It was rubbish, clearly thrown together in a hurry by people who had no idea how to write a plot.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I’m not sure that giving the plot room to mature would make it work any better. You’d get more of a chance to see where it creaked.

The Leaf and the ring, the whole paying for things with things of emotional value makes me wince. How do you calculate the emotional value of a memento? In order to establish that this was the currency you’d need to show it in action. People haggling over whether the BBQ tongs they used at a couple of family birthdays were worth a space pedalo. What is the second hand value of a memento? Yikes.

[andrewducker]

It felt like a bunch of ideas thrown together, that we breezed over without any chance for any of it to hang together at all.

Emotional objects have value, and the leaf had a lot of emotional value, particularly because it was a symbol of the days her mother never had, and that therefore overloaded an evil vampire sun? WTF?

Did the people in the audience _know_ that the child was being sacrificed? If so, why weren't they upset that she was saved, thus dooming them all? If not, why weren't they more upset it was happening?

The vampire thing in the glass box was an "alarm clock"? How? Why? What?

Did The Doctor really let his new companion just wander off, or was he watching her the whole time to see what she did?

I do think a decent writer, with more space to breathe, would have been able to tie it all together into something that made sense, and carried some emotional weight.

But it pretty much felt like the on-screen version of the idea that "Because we're told something is emotional, we should therefore believe it's emotional, even though we've never been given a reason to find it emotional."

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, you need to go back to cut tagging.

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

Yes, I probably do.