On Household Chores

[danieldwilliam]

My son, the Captain, recently turned 11.

I think he's ready to do some chores around the house. He's a reasonably sensible and trustworthy eleven year old.

My own experience of turning eleven and picking up some jobs around the house is, I think, not an ideal guide to how this should be done. My mum was a single parent to 4 kids, I'm the eldest. Things were fraught and a not necessarly well thought through.

So what are some reasonable jobs around the house for an eleven year old?

Comments

[alithea]

When I was that age, my household chore was cleaning the glass panels in the doors... But then we had a dog who used to smear snot all over them 😂

But things like drying up and hoovering seem quite reasonable to me.

[danieldwilliam]

I'm leaning towards hoovering as that's pretty low risk.

[alithea]

Probably a good plan. Having actually thought about it, I don't trust Kev with drying up because he leaves things all smeared, and of course there is always the danger of dropping your favourite mug or whatever, so probably not the best task 😆

[danieldwilliam]

We tend not to dry up but leave things to dry and then put them away later. The cupboards are up high.

And we often don't wash up immediately after dinner.

And the risk of him dropping things.

I'm pretty sure I was doing the washing up and drying up at eleven ish but we had a more regimented production line with six of us in the household, rather than 3.

[alithea]

Yes, I avoid drying up by leaving things to air where possible too, I just don't like Kev doing it instead!

I was doing drying up at that age too probably, but similarly, washing up happened as soon as dinner was finished and was something of a production line.

[mountainkiss]

Ask him which ones he feels he could take on with some enthusiasm / what he would dislike most?

[danieldwilliam]

That's an excellent starting point.

[cmcmck]

Vacuuming.

Dusting

Ironing (although that's a learned skill- but one it wouldn't hurt to learn- a lot of guys never seem to.

The old, old one of keeping own room tidy!

Does he like cooking/kitchen stuff?

[danieldwilliam]

He does like cooking and so on. He's baked cookies and similar on his own a few times without close supervision. His current job in the house is to clear the table after dinner.

I did have a bless moment with him last week. He hadn't realised that the toaster has a timer on it and was trying to work out how long the toast would take and was a bit anxious about it. I couldn't work out why he was so resistant to making himself a bit of toast until I found out he thought he'd forget about the toast and set fire to the kitchen.

Perhaps helping me when I'm cooking would kill several birds with one stone.

Ironing is an interesting suggestion. I used to be reasonably proficient with an iron but I've not touched one for about two years. There is barely any ironing in the house. I have spent the last ten years removing anything that needs ironing from my wardrobe. All my "business" shirts are superbly non-iron, and I work for a tech firm so I don't have to wear a suit and tie. I'm pretty careful about not buying clothes that need to be ironed.

MLW irons the bed linen from time to time. She seems to really like freshly ironed sheets.

I suspect it is possible for someone growing up in the 21st century to not have to iron and still be able to meet reasonable standards of crispness.

[mountainkiss]

Oh freshly ironed sheets are amazing and if I ever have lots of money then I will have them every week.

[danieldwilliam]

I should try an experiment to see if I find freshly ironed sheets significantly more pleasant than freshly washed sheets.

Not sure how to actually do that in real life.

[andrewducker]

I'd start off by involving him in the tasks as you and YLW do them. Tell him that now he's older he's part of the general "keeping the house nice" squad, and it's only fair that all three of you do your fair share. That way you can train him up a bit to start with while he learns how to do them, and he can rotate through the tasks learning what he likes and hates the most. Then you can have a round-table between the three of you where you divide the tasks up and everyone gets their say.

(Some tasks are going to be parental tasks - he almost certainly isn't ready for "Cook the family meal" - but if he shows an interest then now is a good time to start getting him trained up on those!)

[mellowtigger]

My parents didn't give an "allowance", but they did pay for chores. I got my spending money from mowing the yard. I think that method fits with the "positive reinforcement" method of training.

(I also saved lunch money instead of eating lunch in the school cafeteria, so I could buy more books. Priorities. LOL!)

[danieldwilliam]

I am genuinely uncertain about this.

On the one hand

I want him to do some chores more or less willingly and paying him for his time is a pretty common incentive.

It seems fair for someone to be paid for their time.

On the other hand

him doing some chores in the house is a contribution to the commonweal

if we are practising a principle of from each according to their means, to each according to their needs he ought to share in the commonwealth of the household through some sort of allowance (I think the kids call it a universal basic income).

I guess I'm torn between some conflicting principles. People should be paid for their work. People should not be paid for contributing to the family household.