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danieldwilliamIt's August and like the slowly spinning wheels of time, the wheels of time have spun slowly to the phased release of the Strictly Come Dancing contestants for 2018. Her follows my by now habitual first look at the runners (if not the riders) and some early thoughts on which one of Kate Silverton is going to win.
This year features a veritable and verifiable number of celebrities, with several whom I recognised. In fact, I'd go further, there is a good chance that I could have told you something about a majority of this year's contestants before I looked them up on Wikipedia.
Katie Piper
We're not messing about, we're straight in with a genuinely inspiring hero, Katie Piper. Piper was the victim of several assualts by a boyfriend stalker, including an attack with acid. Since then she's had facial reconstruction surgery and gone on to a career in television, radio and print. I'm not familiar with her work but it sounds like she has grit. Best odds to win are 16/1.
Danny John-Jules
I saw someone on Princes Street wearing a London Jets t-shirt. That's an omen I thought to myself.
At 57 Danny John-Jules will be amongst the older contestant in Strictly history. Known for his role as Duane Dibley in the popular and long running British science-fiction comedy series, Red Dwarf he has recently expanded his role by playing Dwayne Myers in Death in Paradise. A crucial fact about Danny John-Jules is that before he became a British science fiction icon he was a dancer in musical theatre including being in the original cast of Starlight Express. Dwany John-Jules is a professional dancer, in his late 50's. Just saying. Not saying there is *anything* wrong with that. Merely pointing out that the last older contestant with iconic family favourite status and a deep history of professional dance was the Lovely Debbie McGee, who finished third and started out the betting last year at 25/1.
The Lovely Danny John-Jules is 10/1 to win.
Faye Tozer
Faye (from Steps) Tozer is from Steps, the 90's pop sensation. Unlike the Lovely Danny John-Jules, Faye from Steps, managed to break out of the Top 20 and reach Number One in the singles chart, twice. She was a frequent guest on Never Mind the Buzzcocks where her interactions with Mark Lamarr became a thing of legend.
A little know fact about me is that I have appeared on stage as Faye from Steps. Of the two of us I had more musical credibility and better legs.
If you feel the need to bet on Faye from Steps then you can at 8/1.
Joe Suggs
For a fleeting yet joyous moment I thought this might be Graeme MacPherson from Madness and that we might be treated to some rock steady beats. But alas, no. Joe Suggs makes his living falling over on YouTube. There is no shame in that, if Charlie Chaplin were alive today he'd be 129 and probably as baffled by people making their living on YouTube as I am. I know nothing about Joe Suggs. Less than nothing. My bafflement at his existance is clouding my ability to take in any actual facts about him.
Best odds to win are 12/1.
Vick Hope
Not being a great listener to commercial radio in London I had no idea who Vick Hope is. I still don't. My initial reaction was that Phil Vickery was a brave choice for Strictly. Bets can be placed on Vick Hope at 8/1.
Dr Ranj Singh
Doctor Ranj. I mean your actual Doctor Ranj. Long before Doctors Xand Chris were out of med school Doctor Ranj was reassuring muppets that their unsightly acne was just a phase and producing life saving videos. Childrens television legend. Most fancied children's television presenter according to MumsNet. The mums of MumsNet are out of luck as Dr Ranj is gay. He won't be allowed (or perhaps "allowed") to dance with a man but he is, I think, still the first openly gay male contestant on Strictly.
Odds are 18/1.
Stacey Dooley
Investigates. Apparantly. I could have told you this but I think I mistook her for my least favourite television presenter at first pass. It was a blessed relief to discover it wasn't her. Or rather that it was her and not someone else. Anyhow, I'm not sure how well making undercover documentaries about child labour and women in developing countries will translate to Strictly. There seems no obvious reason to think she'll do well and I worry that she might be at risk in the first week.
16/1 is the best odds on her to win at the moment.
Graham Swann
Aka Doctor Comfort of Doctor Comfort and the Lurid Revalations. However, I do not believe he is a doctor of medicine, or even philosophy.
England Cricketers have a good record on Strictly having won Series 2 and 3, although Phil Tufnell and Michael Vaughan did less well. Currently not well fancied at 25/1.
Ashley Roberts
A theme is emerging this year. Ashley Roberts is none of the people I first thought she might. Nor, when I looked her up, was she in Pussy Riot. Former Pussycat Doll (and not Russian feminist activist) Ashely Roberts left the Pussycat Dolls when everyone else did but shortly before Nicole Sherzinger. Before she was a pop icon with the singing sensations the Pussycat Dolls, Roberts was in the Pussycat Dolls, a modern burlesque dance troupe. That's right folks, this years other former professional dancer is former professional dancer Ashley (Dolls, not Riot) Roberts. She's the current favourite at 5/1 - at least she is until she gets paired up with Anton.
Kate Silverton
Utility news reader Kate Silverton fills the customery BBC News Reader Slot at Strictly this year. Along with Natasha Kaplinsky, Susanah Reid and Sophie Raworth she has regularly fonted BBC Children in Need News Readers Dance Routine. This does not make her a professional dancer. She's rumoured to be ambitious. This also does not make her a professional dancer. The thinking man's Natasha Kaplinsky she is priced at 20/1
Sean Walsh
Queens Park Rangers fan Sean Walsh is also a comedian. Which is all wikipedia has to say about him. I've not been able to cross reference QPR fans and Strictly performances but no football player has ever been any good at Strictly. Sean can be backed at 20/1.
Lauren Steadman
Lauren Steadman is an athelete and para-Olympian. This is usually a plus point. However, she's a cyclist, like Victoria Pendleton. This omens less well than a London Jets t-shirt. Ladbrooks have her at 14/1.
Lee Ryan
From Blue. 8/1.
Charles Venn
Charles Venn has passed me by. He may as well have lived and worked in vain. I am told he has plowed a rich furrow as an actor in Eastenders and Casualty, the only two programmes I am less likely to watch than Doctor Who. If there were a way of representing diagromatically my experience of Charles Venn it would show no overlap between us. Given his background and voting base I'm expecting great things from him. The bookies agree and price him at 8/1.
Susannah Constantine
One half, but both breasts, of Trinny and Susannah Make You Wear Clothes that Fit You, Constatine is posh. Properly posh. Posher than the Pussycat Dolls. So posh, in fact, that she nearly appeared on bank notes. Rarely straying far from long time collaborator Tinny Woodhall I'll be fascinated to see how Constantine copes with being paired up with Anton Du Beke. The bookies have her recorded at 33/1. I disagree, I think Du Beke has a big following all of his own.
I think the value betting lies with the Lovely Danny John-Jules. Lee Ryan, Dr Ranj, Kate Silverton and Ashely Roberts to make the final four.
This year features a veritable and verifiable number of celebrities, with several whom I recognised. In fact, I'd go further, there is a good chance that I could have told you something about a majority of this year's contestants before I looked them up on Wikipedia.
Katie Piper
We're not messing about, we're straight in with a genuinely inspiring hero, Katie Piper. Piper was the victim of several assualts by a boyfriend stalker, including an attack with acid. Since then she's had facial reconstruction surgery and gone on to a career in television, radio and print. I'm not familiar with her work but it sounds like she has grit. Best odds to win are 16/1.
Danny John-Jules
I saw someone on Princes Street wearing a London Jets t-shirt. That's an omen I thought to myself.
At 57 Danny John-Jules will be amongst the older contestant in Strictly history. Known for his role as Duane Dibley in the popular and long running British science-fiction comedy series, Red Dwarf he has recently expanded his role by playing Dwayne Myers in Death in Paradise. A crucial fact about Danny John-Jules is that before he became a British science fiction icon he was a dancer in musical theatre including being in the original cast of Starlight Express. Dwany John-Jules is a professional dancer, in his late 50's. Just saying. Not saying there is *anything* wrong with that. Merely pointing out that the last older contestant with iconic family favourite status and a deep history of professional dance was the Lovely Debbie McGee, who finished third and started out the betting last year at 25/1.
The Lovely Danny John-Jules is 10/1 to win.
Faye Tozer
Faye (from Steps) Tozer is from Steps, the 90's pop sensation. Unlike the Lovely Danny John-Jules, Faye from Steps, managed to break out of the Top 20 and reach Number One in the singles chart, twice. She was a frequent guest on Never Mind the Buzzcocks where her interactions with Mark Lamarr became a thing of legend.
A little know fact about me is that I have appeared on stage as Faye from Steps. Of the two of us I had more musical credibility and better legs.
If you feel the need to bet on Faye from Steps then you can at 8/1.
Joe Suggs
For a fleeting yet joyous moment I thought this might be Graeme MacPherson from Madness and that we might be treated to some rock steady beats. But alas, no. Joe Suggs makes his living falling over on YouTube. There is no shame in that, if Charlie Chaplin were alive today he'd be 129 and probably as baffled by people making their living on YouTube as I am. I know nothing about Joe Suggs. Less than nothing. My bafflement at his existance is clouding my ability to take in any actual facts about him.
Best odds to win are 12/1.
Vick Hope
Not being a great listener to commercial radio in London I had no idea who Vick Hope is. I still don't. My initial reaction was that Phil Vickery was a brave choice for Strictly. Bets can be placed on Vick Hope at 8/1.
Dr Ranj Singh
Doctor Ranj. I mean your actual Doctor Ranj. Long before Doctors Xand Chris were out of med school Doctor Ranj was reassuring muppets that their unsightly acne was just a phase and producing life saving videos. Childrens television legend. Most fancied children's television presenter according to MumsNet. The mums of MumsNet are out of luck as Dr Ranj is gay. He won't be allowed (or perhaps "allowed") to dance with a man but he is, I think, still the first openly gay male contestant on Strictly.
Odds are 18/1.
Stacey Dooley
Investigates. Apparantly. I could have told you this but I think I mistook her for my least favourite television presenter at first pass. It was a blessed relief to discover it wasn't her. Or rather that it was her and not someone else. Anyhow, I'm not sure how well making undercover documentaries about child labour and women in developing countries will translate to Strictly. There seems no obvious reason to think she'll do well and I worry that she might be at risk in the first week.
16/1 is the best odds on her to win at the moment.
Graham Swann
Aka Doctor Comfort of Doctor Comfort and the Lurid Revalations. However, I do not believe he is a doctor of medicine, or even philosophy.
England Cricketers have a good record on Strictly having won Series 2 and 3, although Phil Tufnell and Michael Vaughan did less well. Currently not well fancied at 25/1.
Ashley Roberts
A theme is emerging this year. Ashley Roberts is none of the people I first thought she might. Nor, when I looked her up, was she in Pussy Riot. Former Pussycat Doll (and not Russian feminist activist) Ashely Roberts left the Pussycat Dolls when everyone else did but shortly before Nicole Sherzinger. Before she was a pop icon with the singing sensations the Pussycat Dolls, Roberts was in the Pussycat Dolls, a modern burlesque dance troupe. That's right folks, this years other former professional dancer is former professional dancer Ashley (Dolls, not Riot) Roberts. She's the current favourite at 5/1 - at least she is until she gets paired up with Anton.
Kate Silverton
Utility news reader Kate Silverton fills the customery BBC News Reader Slot at Strictly this year. Along with Natasha Kaplinsky, Susanah Reid and Sophie Raworth she has regularly fonted BBC Children in Need News Readers Dance Routine. This does not make her a professional dancer. She's rumoured to be ambitious. This also does not make her a professional dancer. The thinking man's Natasha Kaplinsky she is priced at 20/1
Sean Walsh
Queens Park Rangers fan Sean Walsh is also a comedian. Which is all wikipedia has to say about him. I've not been able to cross reference QPR fans and Strictly performances but no football player has ever been any good at Strictly. Sean can be backed at 20/1.
Lauren Steadman
Lauren Steadman is an athelete and para-Olympian. This is usually a plus point. However, she's a cyclist, like Victoria Pendleton. This omens less well than a London Jets t-shirt. Ladbrooks have her at 14/1.
Lee Ryan
From Blue. 8/1.
Charles Venn
Charles Venn has passed me by. He may as well have lived and worked in vain. I am told he has plowed a rich furrow as an actor in Eastenders and Casualty, the only two programmes I am less likely to watch than Doctor Who. If there were a way of representing diagromatically my experience of Charles Venn it would show no overlap between us. Given his background and voting base I'm expecting great things from him. The bookies agree and price him at 8/1.
Susannah Constantine
One half, but both breasts, of Trinny and Susannah Make You Wear Clothes that Fit You, Constatine is posh. Properly posh. Posher than the Pussycat Dolls. So posh, in fact, that she nearly appeared on bank notes. Rarely straying far from long time collaborator Tinny Woodhall I'll be fascinated to see how Constantine copes with being paired up with Anton Du Beke. The bookies have her recorded at 33/1. I disagree, I think Du Beke has a big following all of his own.
I think the value betting lies with the Lovely Danny John-Jules. Lee Ryan, Dr Ranj, Kate Silverton and Ashely Roberts to make the final four.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-21 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-08-21 03:10 pm (UTC)He may well be but the internet doesn't seem to say anything about it.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-21 04:01 pm (UTC)Oh we are both fucking idiots. Susan Calman.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-22 08:32 am (UTC)