danieldwilliam: (machievelli)
[personal profile] danieldwilliam
The country has been plunged in to chaos and the lights have gone out all over Europe.

Here at the Tartan Shortbread Institute of Scotology we've gotten hold of a couple of British candles and we've analysed the positions, pedigree and experience of the five candidates for Tory leader.

And we've decided to bring you 25 True Facts About Boris Johnson instead

1) Coward
2) Opportunist
3) Opportunistic Coward
4) Cowardly Opportunist
5) Back-stabber
6) Back-stabing Cowards
7) Cowardly Back-stabber
8) Back-stabbing Opportunist
9) Oppotunistic Back-stabber
10) Cowardly, Opportunistic Back-stabber
11) Opportunist, Cowardly Back-stabber
12) Back-stabbing Opportunistic Coward
13 Back-stabbing Cowardly Opportunist
14) Liar
15 Fool
16) Lying Fool
17) Foolish Liar
18) Self-Centred
19) Selfish Liar
20) Selfish Fool
21) Selfish Lying Fool
22) Lying Selfish Fool
23) Foolish Selfish Liar
24) Selfish Foolish Liar
25) Foolish Lying Narcissist
26) Lying Foolish Narcissist
27) Back-stabbing Cowardly Opportunistic Lying Foolish Narcissist.

Admittedly, that is 27 True Facts rather than 25 True Facts but everyone one knows that 27 is the gross figure, not the net figure.
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