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On Being Cursed By the Gods of Hair Oil
Jun. 11th, 2024 10:26 amI have become bored of my hair. Over the Covid Years Part 1* I adopted the same haircut as many other men - a very short trim done by an enthusiastic but untrained family member.
The after those years had passed I had a protracted falling out with my barber. I liked my old barber but he had a Jeevesian habit of giving me the haircut he approved off and not the haircut I desired.
So I moved barbers. After a few unsuccessful attempts at a new barber I found one that I liked and who was prepared to indulge me in my no doubt heretical desires for slightly longer more interesting hair than I have had for the last five years. Two haircuts in to this relationship she had a heart attack and died.
This is clearly very sad and by far the most important part of this tale. People reading this should probably take a moment to dwell on the arbitrary and deeply contingent and precariousness of human life and the loss of this young woman in particular.
Yeah.
I then started having my hair cut by her colleague at the same barbers. After a few haircuts we've established a plan for me to grow my hair a little. All of the important decision makers** are on board.
Two haircuts in to Plan Moderately Windswept and Slightly More Interesting it became apparent that I would need some sort of "product." Whilst I am blessed with a fine full head of luxuriant thick hair it is not quite so perky as it used to be and perhaps requires a little support getting upright. The answer appears to be a salt spray - which is salty water with a little hair oil to counter the drying effect of the salt and perhaps a little essential oil for fragrance. Retails at £10-£20 a bottle. Reader, I may have a racy new hair cut I am not paying £20 for a bottle of salty water when I can make my own. Can I make my own? Not so far I can't.
I have now had four unsuccessful attempts to buy hair oil from Amazon. The first the transaction was cancelled. The second failed to arrive. The third arrived but was left outside me door and then stolen. The fourth has just been returned to the delivery centre by the courier.
I am beginning to think that my hair cuts are cursed.
*i.e. the years where people were worried about Covid killing lots of people and stayed at home (if they could), cf the Covid Years Part 2 where Covid just quietly kills and disables people are socially acceptable rates.
*** I say all, Wotjek and I have agreed it, I'm not not sure that MLW, the Captain or any of the other people who get a vote or a right to express an opinion are on board but you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
The after those years had passed I had a protracted falling out with my barber. I liked my old barber but he had a Jeevesian habit of giving me the haircut he approved off and not the haircut I desired.
So I moved barbers. After a few unsuccessful attempts at a new barber I found one that I liked and who was prepared to indulge me in my no doubt heretical desires for slightly longer more interesting hair than I have had for the last five years. Two haircuts in to this relationship she had a heart attack and died.
This is clearly very sad and by far the most important part of this tale. People reading this should probably take a moment to dwell on the arbitrary and deeply contingent and precariousness of human life and the loss of this young woman in particular.
Yeah.
I then started having my hair cut by her colleague at the same barbers. After a few haircuts we've established a plan for me to grow my hair a little. All of the important decision makers** are on board.
Two haircuts in to Plan Moderately Windswept and Slightly More Interesting it became apparent that I would need some sort of "product." Whilst I am blessed with a fine full head of luxuriant thick hair it is not quite so perky as it used to be and perhaps requires a little support getting upright. The answer appears to be a salt spray - which is salty water with a little hair oil to counter the drying effect of the salt and perhaps a little essential oil for fragrance. Retails at £10-£20 a bottle. Reader, I may have a racy new hair cut I am not paying £20 for a bottle of salty water when I can make my own. Can I make my own? Not so far I can't.
I have now had four unsuccessful attempts to buy hair oil from Amazon. The first the transaction was cancelled. The second failed to arrive. The third arrived but was left outside me door and then stolen. The fourth has just been returned to the delivery centre by the courier.
I am beginning to think that my hair cuts are cursed.
*i.e. the years where people were worried about Covid killing lots of people and stayed at home (if they could), cf the Covid Years Part 2 where Covid just quietly kills and disables people are socially acceptable rates.
*** I say all, Wotjek and I have agreed it, I'm not not sure that MLW, the Captain or any of the other people who get a vote or a right to express an opinion are on board but you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
