On A Small Boy Waiting for His Granddad

I left the Captain this morning looking out of the window.

He is going on his first all day outing with Granddad. They are going on a boat at the Falkirk Wheel for a ride on a boat, a play on the new big play park, it’s a new one, very big, he’s never been there befor, maybe some lunch (or ‘unch, the Captain still doesn’t pronounce the ‘etter L), then they will come back in Granddad’s car. Granddad is a good driver.

Granddad is collecting him at half 9.

We were sitting together eating our breakfasts at about 7.45 and he was telling me about his day to come.  “Somebody,” he said, “will have to help me go round to Granddad’s.”  I told him that Granddad was coming to collect him.

“My just keep a look out of the window for Granddad in case my not see him.”

He was still keeping a watch when I left to go to work at just before 8.30.

On Speculating About Speculation

Speculation rages on twitter about the identities  of the two political figures at the centre of revelations about an affair which has said to have stunned the Prime Minister and rocked Downing Street.

I say rages – a few dozen tweets.

A few brave individuals (1) have even gone as far as to name two potential figures (2).

Generally I’m not that interested in the sexual relationships of politicians (3) – unless they are exposing themselves as hypocrites I fully expect them to behave much like other people and, whilst I don’t exactly approve of adultery it doesn’t particularly affect the ability of the people involved.

But in this case I think it might.

If we ever find out.




(1) utterly stupid in the light of the MacApline – Bercow case

(2) including one wag who suffixed his tweet of “If it were X and Y that would interesting.” with  *innocent face* clearly not having grasped the implications of the Bercow decision or the Attorney General’s recent note on the applicability of the contempt of court for cases sub judice

(3) as distinct from sexually harassing folk. Or sleeping with someone connected with Russian intelligence.

On the New Who

Rumours on the internet about the New Who abound but I can exclusively reveal that they are all as wrong as a bow-tie and fez.

Rather than replacing Matt Smith in Doctor Who a new spin-off series is planned for the Doctor.  The replacement for  Matt Smith will have his, or her, or their own spin-off series where an eccentric, wise and fundamentally good time traveller uses science, their skills and experience and the help of some assistants or companions to save various worlds from new and imaginative threats on a weekly basis. The name for this series is not decided yet. Options include Travels in Space with Science, A Plot, A Problem and a Professor, and Holes in the Space Time Continuity.

The part of the Doctor will be played by a blacked-up Helen Mirren. This is a fantastic step forward for both feminism and a multi-cultural Britain reflecting a nation at ease with itself. In a welcome return to the franchise Freema Agyeman will reprise her role as Martha Jones, the talented, brave, intellegent medical doctor and scientific advisor to UNIT. The lesbian sexual tension between Mirren and Agyeman’s characters will provide something to keep the dads (and a few mums!!!!) watching. Nigel Farage will play himself as a new companion to the time travelling adventurer. Farage’s character is believed to be called Nigel. Dowing Street was rocked by the news and a stunned David Cameron was said to have realised his political agenda would be in tatters if the Doctor and Dr Jones had ever will have been going to have will be snogged.

Villians planned for the new spin-off include Dinosaurs from Mars, Robots from Mars, Aliens from Mars, Spiders from Mars, a self aware Snickers bar, Austerity, a general feeling that things are not as good as they used to be, the EU and the institution of marriage.

The main series, Doctor Who will continue with Stephen Moffat and the existing star telling the long running tale of a glowing magic wand opening up Daleks, Cybermen and Sontarons like a tin opener. The hand holding the much loved Sonic Screwdriver will be played by a blurry Joey Tribbiani.

There are no plans to take forward a second spin-off series where Alan Rickman plays the Name of the Doctor.

( Spoilers )