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On Preparing for Brexipocalypse
I've just spent a fun lunch break doing a first draft of my Brexit No Deal Disaster Shopping List.
The scenario I am preparing against is a mild Brexipocolpse. That there is a short term but significant disruption to UK supply chains and / or an outbreak of panic buying which empties the supermarkets of food and that it takes some time for supply chains to re-open. I'm also taking account of the possibility of disruptions to electricity supplies. So basically no food in the shops for a few weeks, a 3-Day Week level of electricity supply and a Winter of Discontent level of public services.
I want to be able to comfortably survive 4 weeks where the army is on the streets and Waitrose is shut. Ideally, I'd like to be able to stay indoors.
Any worse than that I am expecting the government to collapse or to be lynched (which is really only a special form of No Confidence vote) and the new government to reverse British Brexit policy. Any worse than *that* I expect the EU to invade for our own protection. In that scenario I'll be okay. I'll be married to an EU citizen and father to an EU citizen and I shall surrender to the first good looking female Irish Guarda or French gendarme that I see.
(Supply lines are an emergant and evolved process which are deeply optimised for the status quo. Who knows how they will break? Not me and I doubt very much if a civil servant, with 72 hours notice, will know any better than me. Any amount of central planning could still end up with something not working and that something could turn out to be very, very important.)
I'm not expecting a six month crisis. So I'm aiming to have cupboards full of things that will keep for a while but which I won't mind eating once the panic has died down. I'm not going to making my own pemmican but I will have a few tins of corned beef in the cupboard.
The list so far includes
Rice - a good source of calories and vehicle for flavour - a billion Chinese peasants can't be wrong. Stores okay when dry. Problems cooking it perhaps but it will add water to the diet when cooked.
Pasta - as above.
Flour - doesn't store particularly well, but does store better than actual bread.
Ingredients for bread making (yeast, baking powered, baking soda etc). Worst case I can make flat breads or damper on the bbq.
Packet soup - a source of vitamins and flavour
Tinned Chickpeas - a source of non-meat protein and for making hummus
Lentils (dear God, has it come to lentils) -a source of protien.
Jam - flavour, calories (all that sugar) and stores well if not opened.
Chocolate - powdered chocolate -never underestimate the morale boosting power of chocolate
Tahini - for hummus.
Powdered milk - in case of a desire for milk.
UHT milk - ditto
Popcorn (unpopped) - can be cooked on the bbq, a source of starch
Oatmeal -for porridge.
Sugar - keeps well and calorific. Also, MLW won't drink coffee without sugar and stops being human without coffee. I'm not surviving the Brexpocalyse only to be stabbed to death by my grumpy wife.
Honey - keeps well and calorific.
Jars / tubes of garlic / tomato paste - for favouring food.
All the spices and herbs - for flavouring food.
Pickles of all sorts - for flavour, obviously keeps well, vitamins.
Jars Pesto and other spaghetti sauces - use as a base for sauces.
Dried bullion - to make soups.
Hard cheese - a source of protein, fat and calories that should keep well even if the fridge is not working.
Tinned fish (tuna, anchovies) - protien, flavour, keeps well.
Tinned beans
Tins of baked beans
Tins of chilli
Peanut butter
Tinned tomatoes
Sun dried tomatoes and sundried other things in jars - keeps okay, adds flavour.
Tinned pineapple - a dense source of calories and flavour.
Dried eggs - I like eggs.
Olives in a jar
Whey powder
Ghee - keeps better than butter
Tobasco sauce - flavour
Maple syrup - keeps well, flavour and calories
Worcestershire sauce - flavour
Soy sauce - flavour. A bowl of boiled rice, a dash of soy sauce, a cup of water and vitamin pill will keep you alive. At least long enough to be stabbed by MLW.
Bovril - flavour, vitamins etc.
Ovaltine - an alternative to drinking water.
Jerky (for flavouring soups)
Olive Oil - for making hummus and cooking breads and so on.
Museli - keeps for a while.
Corned Beef - meat in a tin.
Charcoal for the bbq - in case I want a hot dinner.
Vitamin pills - to avoid scurvy and beri beri.
Anti-depressents - to avoid depression.
Jerry cans of petrol - enough to get to Newcastle and back. I'm not expecting to do lots of driving during Brexpocalypse but I would like to be able to rescue BB from Newcastle if Jacob Rees-Mogg is correct and it does all go a bit Mad Max
Coffee - have you met my wife? Have you met my wife before she's had coffee?
Dried fruit - keeps okay, source of calories and nutrients.
Nuts - keeps okay, source of calories and nutrients
Camping gas hob and cannisters. In case I want to cook inside
Rum, vodka and whisky. A good source of calories. And if I'm going to watch my country destroy itself in an orgy of hubris, ignorance, jingoism and the enrichment of Jacob Rees-Mogg I'm going to do with a damn good cocktail in my hand.
Vanilla extract - it's a nice flavour.
Dry salami etc. keeps for a while even without a fridge.
Beer (or perhaps a home brewing kit). Beer is a good source of sterile water. Also, I like beer.
Several cases of wine.
Boiled sweets - basically flavoured sugar in solid form.
Water purification tables - why add dysentry to an already crowded Brexpocalypse diary.
Unscented liquid chlorine bleach - to disinfect things.
Bottled Water (sparkling) - keeps well in the bottle, I like sparkling water. 4 litres of water per person, per day. Me, MLW, the Captain, Dad, BB and one waif and stray is 24 litres of water a day.
Biscuits (digestives, whole wheat crackers,)
Things that can easily be cooked in the microwave (electricity supplies may be patchy, the microwave is quick and efficient).
Batteries
Candles.
Matches.
Wind-up torch / radio.
I might see if I can purchase some dry ice to keep the freezer cold.
I'd expect to go in to Brexit Day with a fridge and freezer stuffed full of normal food but it's possible that the electricty will be cut off (lots of our electricity comes from France, lots of our gas comes from outside the UK, all of our coal comes from outside the UK, gas is paid for in US Dollars - currently trading at $1.3100 to the pound. During Brexipocalypse - the price of the pound is anyone's guess, but it won't be as good as $1.31.
The scenario I am preparing against is a mild Brexipocolpse. That there is a short term but significant disruption to UK supply chains and / or an outbreak of panic buying which empties the supermarkets of food and that it takes some time for supply chains to re-open. I'm also taking account of the possibility of disruptions to electricity supplies. So basically no food in the shops for a few weeks, a 3-Day Week level of electricity supply and a Winter of Discontent level of public services.
I want to be able to comfortably survive 4 weeks where the army is on the streets and Waitrose is shut. Ideally, I'd like to be able to stay indoors.
Any worse than that I am expecting the government to collapse or to be lynched (which is really only a special form of No Confidence vote) and the new government to reverse British Brexit policy. Any worse than *that* I expect the EU to invade for our own protection. In that scenario I'll be okay. I'll be married to an EU citizen and father to an EU citizen and I shall surrender to the first good looking female Irish Guarda or French gendarme that I see.
(Supply lines are an emergant and evolved process which are deeply optimised for the status quo. Who knows how they will break? Not me and I doubt very much if a civil servant, with 72 hours notice, will know any better than me. Any amount of central planning could still end up with something not working and that something could turn out to be very, very important.)
I'm not expecting a six month crisis. So I'm aiming to have cupboards full of things that will keep for a while but which I won't mind eating once the panic has died down. I'm not going to making my own pemmican but I will have a few tins of corned beef in the cupboard.
The list so far includes
Rice - a good source of calories and vehicle for flavour - a billion Chinese peasants can't be wrong. Stores okay when dry. Problems cooking it perhaps but it will add water to the diet when cooked.
Pasta - as above.
Flour - doesn't store particularly well, but does store better than actual bread.
Ingredients for bread making (yeast, baking powered, baking soda etc). Worst case I can make flat breads or damper on the bbq.
Packet soup - a source of vitamins and flavour
Tinned Chickpeas - a source of non-meat protein and for making hummus
Lentils (dear God, has it come to lentils) -a source of protien.
Jam - flavour, calories (all that sugar) and stores well if not opened.
Chocolate - powdered chocolate -never underestimate the morale boosting power of chocolate
Tahini - for hummus.
Powdered milk - in case of a desire for milk.
UHT milk - ditto
Popcorn (unpopped) - can be cooked on the bbq, a source of starch
Oatmeal -for porridge.
Sugar - keeps well and calorific. Also, MLW won't drink coffee without sugar and stops being human without coffee. I'm not surviving the Brexpocalyse only to be stabbed to death by my grumpy wife.
Honey - keeps well and calorific.
Jars / tubes of garlic / tomato paste - for favouring food.
All the spices and herbs - for flavouring food.
Pickles of all sorts - for flavour, obviously keeps well, vitamins.
Jars Pesto and other spaghetti sauces - use as a base for sauces.
Dried bullion - to make soups.
Hard cheese - a source of protein, fat and calories that should keep well even if the fridge is not working.
Tinned fish (tuna, anchovies) - protien, flavour, keeps well.
Tinned beans
Tins of baked beans
Tins of chilli
Peanut butter
Tinned tomatoes
Sun dried tomatoes and sundried other things in jars - keeps okay, adds flavour.
Tinned pineapple - a dense source of calories and flavour.
Dried eggs - I like eggs.
Olives in a jar
Whey powder
Ghee - keeps better than butter
Tobasco sauce - flavour
Maple syrup - keeps well, flavour and calories
Worcestershire sauce - flavour
Soy sauce - flavour. A bowl of boiled rice, a dash of soy sauce, a cup of water and vitamin pill will keep you alive. At least long enough to be stabbed by MLW.
Bovril - flavour, vitamins etc.
Ovaltine - an alternative to drinking water.
Jerky (for flavouring soups)
Olive Oil - for making hummus and cooking breads and so on.
Museli - keeps for a while.
Corned Beef - meat in a tin.
Charcoal for the bbq - in case I want a hot dinner.
Vitamin pills - to avoid scurvy and beri beri.
Anti-depressents - to avoid depression.
Jerry cans of petrol - enough to get to Newcastle and back. I'm not expecting to do lots of driving during Brexpocalypse but I would like to be able to rescue BB from Newcastle if Jacob Rees-Mogg is correct and it does all go a bit Mad Max
Coffee - have you met my wife? Have you met my wife before she's had coffee?
Dried fruit - keeps okay, source of calories and nutrients.
Nuts - keeps okay, source of calories and nutrients
Camping gas hob and cannisters. In case I want to cook inside
Rum, vodka and whisky. A good source of calories. And if I'm going to watch my country destroy itself in an orgy of hubris, ignorance, jingoism and the enrichment of Jacob Rees-Mogg I'm going to do with a damn good cocktail in my hand.
Vanilla extract - it's a nice flavour.
Dry salami etc. keeps for a while even without a fridge.
Beer (or perhaps a home brewing kit). Beer is a good source of sterile water. Also, I like beer.
Several cases of wine.
Boiled sweets - basically flavoured sugar in solid form.
Water purification tables - why add dysentry to an already crowded Brexpocalypse diary.
Unscented liquid chlorine bleach - to disinfect things.
Bottled Water (sparkling) - keeps well in the bottle, I like sparkling water. 4 litres of water per person, per day. Me, MLW, the Captain, Dad, BB and one waif and stray is 24 litres of water a day.
Biscuits (digestives, whole wheat crackers,)
Things that can easily be cooked in the microwave (electricity supplies may be patchy, the microwave is quick and efficient).
Batteries
Candles.
Matches.
Wind-up torch / radio.
I might see if I can purchase some dry ice to keep the freezer cold.
I'd expect to go in to Brexit Day with a fridge and freezer stuffed full of normal food but it's possible that the electricty will be cut off (lots of our electricity comes from France, lots of our gas comes from outside the UK, all of our coal comes from outside the UK, gas is paid for in US Dollars - currently trading at $1.3100 to the pound. During Brexipocalypse - the price of the pound is anyone's guess, but it won't be as good as $1.31.